What to do if life gets worse. What to do if everything in life is bad

Obstacles and difficulties are an integral part of life. It’s bad when life itself turns into one continuous nuisance. Some people compare this state of affairs to a fun computer game. Others say that if everything were different, our existence would be boring and uninteresting.

True, sometimes, raising your head for a second from under the pile of problems that have piled up and looking around, it seems: without all these troubles, life would not be more boring, but simpler and calmer. When trouble knocks on the door, a person will least of all perceive it as fun. Usually the first thing we have to deal with in our reality is who is to blame and what to do. If in life, a person would rather dream of boring and “uninteresting” days in which there is no room for problems.

Of course, for one person, certain events will be perceived as more complex and difficult; to others it will seem like a small thing. But life on earth is not easy for anyone - all because in the depths of everyone’s soul there are hidden desires, eager to come out and thirsting for fulfillment.

And, as usually happens, the more we want something, the more painful the disappointment is in case of failure. Perhaps this is a form of torture - wanting something with every fiber of your soul and constantly being refused.

They say it is in moments like these that a person's willpower is tested. But even if you decide to test your strength in almost all life events, we suggest considering the following ways to cope with these tests. Let's see what those people do whose willpower gets an A on the life test.

After all, even for the powerful, circumstances sometimes turn out contrary to their wishes. Their dreams go to hell no less often than those of the common man in the street. Sometimes this happens due to random circumstances, sometimes the reason is competitors, neighbors, work colleagues, family members, in the end. Do you think that strong personalities tear and rush? Perhaps in the first five minutes. So, how can you follow their example if everything in life is against you?

• Take a break. Most people who have trouble in their lives would rather do the exact opposite - they will think about the problem, trying to carefully consider its aspects from all possible angles. They will begin to get more and more entangled in this endless tangle of thoughts and reasoning. Every second they are usually haunted by the feeling: a little more, just a little more, it’s worth thinking about this issue, and the solution will come... Alas. Problems are almost never solved by grinding the same issue over and over again. It only brings headaches.

  The harsh truth is that it is very difficult to get an accurate picture of what is happening while in the thick of it. Therefore, in order to understand what is really happening, you need to take a step to the side. The most important decisions require enormous attention - but attention to the essence of the problem. The difficulty is that, being too involved in what is happening, we may not notice most of the important points. We find ourselves unable to pay attention to possible solutions to our problems. This is why distraction is so important.

  Sometimes people forget that they can pause any life situation, stop thinking about it, and thereby waste their precious mental energy. After all, everyone knows about the wise words that were written on the back of Solomon’s ring: “Everything will pass, and this too will pass.”

• Pay attention to what is within your capabilities. When a person is beset by problems on all sides, it can be a huge relief to solve at least some of them.

  But in a difficult situation it is not so easy to deal with those difficulties that seem secondary. People who ask themselves and others “What to do when everything is bad in life?” are more likely to act in obedience to their momentary impulses. This is dictated by the instinct of self-preservation, which requires immediate action. But often, to solve many of life’s difficulties, a completely different approach is needed: sometimes, on the contrary, you need to stall for time; sometimes switch attention to other issues; and sometimes even let go of the situation altogether.

  To prevent life’s difficulties from turning into an avalanche, it’s worth thinking about: what is in my power now? What can be done to ensure that at least some of the troubles are neutralized? Sometimes we tend to underestimate problems that are not in the foreground at the moment. However, regardless of our attitude, the algorithm for the development of troubles has one common pattern: it is easier to destroy them when they are still in their embryonic state. Let this statement be illustrated by an example from family life.

  Let's imagine a woman who, for some reason, is completely absorbed in an event such as separation from her husband. Of course, such a life restructuring takes away almost all her emotional strength, and against the background of this event, everything else seems insignificant. Suppose that she cannot get a divorce for a long time, and this sluggish separation has long exhausted the entire limit of her strength.

  However, no matter how cruel life may seem, if this woman does not change her tactics and stop focusing solely on one problem, her situation may become even worse. Suppose our imaginary heroine has another difficulty that does not seem so important to her yet. For example, she may have a teenage daughter who is experiencing certain psychological problems at this time.

  If you don't give her enough attention now, your daughter may drop out of university, start abusing alcohol, or even turn into a teenage single mother. As we see, the results of ignoring so-called “minor” problems can be very far-reaching.

• Bring other areas of life (at least one) to shine. This recommendation is similar to the previous one, but has a more positive basis. In this case, your actions should not concern solving problems - major or minor - but improving a certain area. In order to stay afloat during life's storms, it is necessary that at least one area of ​​your activity is in ideal condition.

  In other words, having an area of ​​your life that is not cluttered will allow you to counter negative thoughts and emotions about another area. To create such a “shelter” for yourself, you need to determine the plane that can be least affected by your pressing problems, and start working on it tirelessly. It could be your health, your physical fitness, your passion, your spiritual life, and so on.

  When you see the fruits of your efforts, your mind will finally question the idea that life is a complete failure. This will help you feel like a much stronger person.

• Get rid of the position of a victim of circumstances. When everything is bad, such an attitude towards the situation will lead to nothing but its deterioration. Sometimes you need healthy cynicism, sometimes you need a sense of superiority over people and events, but the role of the victim and the behavior that accompanies it will only lead to aggravation of the situation. No matter how it turns out, we always have a choice - not recognizing it means taking the position of a victim.

  If you constantly attract the same people and circumstances to yourself, you need to eventually stop implementing this type of behavior. To begin with, you can try to find role models. This will serve as a good workout. Spend time with people for whom a situation like yours is not worth a damn. Study their behavior and start following their example.

If now, in your opinion, everything is bad in your life, listen to one story that happened to me several years ago and which turned my life upside down.
For a long time, I believed that my life was already pre-programmed for a certain amount of success and failure, with much more of the second component in it. And there’s nothing you can do about it except come to terms with it and learn to survive - I didn’t see any other way out.

One day I met an old friend of mine, whom I had not seen for many years. Despite a series of tragic circumstances in her life, she looked young and happy, led an active lifestyle, and was full of optimism.
I was interested to know the secret of her happy life. It turned out to be very simple, but difficult to implement - every morning to thank the Universe for everything you have in life and sincerely believe that every day all your affairs are getting better and better. At that moment, her secret of a “happy life” seemed strange to me. Moreover, if problems constantly arise at work, with health, there is a chronic lack of money, relationships are not going well, and in general - this is not the life I dreamed of. But I decided to try and signed up for training in a coaching group.
Thus began my new rebirth to a completely different life - meaningful and filled with wonderful transformations and surprises, surrounded by positive and successful people.

What to do if everything is bad in life?

Now I can say with complete confidence that the black streak that is often present in life is actually a runway. And in order to take off, you need to properly accelerate along it and gain the high speed necessary for takeoff. And always set your sails so that they catch the tailwind.
And this means that it is necessary to take responsibility for everything that happens in life into your own hands.
And you need to start with controlling your thoughts - the energy that materializes in the real world. What we think about is what we get.
There is an excellent exercise for this - “Candle”. Every evening for 10 minutes just look at the candle without thinking about anything. This is how you develop the habit of controlling your thoughts and the ability to concentrate on the main thing.

Secondly, start every morning with . This is a huge flow of life-giving energy that miraculously transforms all problems, failures and failures into new solutions, new opportunities and new achievements.
And a miracle happens - everything around begins to change for the better.

Third, constantly fill your life with love, kindness and positivity. Fire the whiners, negative people and pessimists from it, and surround yourself with positive, bright, kind and successful people. They will support and give additional incentive to move forward.

Fourthly, be sure to believe that everything that is planned will definitely work out. And do not let even a shadow of doubt into your heart. If you repeat many times: “God is good. Good is God,” confidence appears, and new ways to solve vital problems open up.

And always remember that at any moment you can change your life, but in order for it to change, you need to want it and start changing it. Start doing this meaningfully, asking yourself the right questions: “Why am I doing this?” Not everything works out right away, but with some effort, perseverance and perseverance, the result will not take long to arrive. And it will exceed all expectations, I know this for sure, because it has been tested by life.

Good afternoon, dear readers. Today I would like to talk about life. About what to do when everything is bad and a bad streak has come. Such a depressed state can easily lead to neuroses, apathy and depression. It is imperative to get out of this situation so that your whole life does not turn into endless suffering.

Black line

We have all, one way or another, experienced moments of depression in our lives. When everything falls out of hand, in the morning you don’t want to get up and get out of bed. When all you think is that life is empty and nothing good will happen. Such thoughts appear for various reasons. Failures in the professional sphere or personal life. The loss of a loved one, the betrayal of a best friend. The situations are different, but the consequences are often similar.

We all sometimes ask ourselves how to get rid of cats that scratch at our souls. It is easy for a person to fall into a depressed state and very difficult to get out of it. Because sitting and doing nothing is much easier than trying to improve your life over and over again. Sometimes you give up and don’t want to live.

Such conditions have different stages, symptoms and other associated issues. A person can become aggressive at such moments and hate everyone around him, even his closest and dearest. Of course, your loved one wants to help, trying to pull you out of apathy. But this is precisely what begins to irritate me even more.

In a state of depression, it is very important to understand why it is happening. Only then will it be possible to take the right steps towards positive change. Simply leaving problems in the past is the worst option. Every moment in a person's life should be complete. Otherwise, the ghosts of the past will catch up with you sooner or later.

Who is the master of your life

Even if you don’t want to do anything and everything is bad, then this is only your decision and your choice. You must always remember that only you are responsible for your own life. And there is no need to create illusions that everything is bad because of someone. It may be very tough, but this is the only way you can correct everything that happens to you.

You shouldn’t blame the rude saleswoman who was rude to you in the morning and that because of her, you’ve been in a bad mood all day. It was you who chose to make this event the highlight of the day. After all, you could simply not notice and move on. It’s not your boss’s fault that your salary is low and you don’t have enough money to pay off your mortgage, pay off your car loan and buy food. It is you who have driven yourself into a financial hole.

Do you think that you have no support from anyone? Nonsense! Support should always come from yourself. One of my good friends is an artist. And periodically she falls into a state of depression. The muse has left, there is no inspiration, my personal life is not working out, my paintings are not selling. Her parents live several thousand kilometers away. No friends. But every time she pulls herself together and starts working again. Sets new goals for himself and moves forward.

You should remember once and for all that only you are responsible for your life. Until you learn to take responsibility for what is happening, you will be unhappy. Definitely because of someone. Understand that no one can influence your life. Not friends, not a loved one, not parents, not a boss, not a passerby on the street. Just because you are emotionally attached to these people does not mean that they control your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living for yourself, not for someone else.

What to do

If nothing works out for you, maybe you are going in the wrong direction? I have never met a single person who was unsuccessful in everything. There must be at least one thing in which a person can succeed. It's an illusion that everything is bad. This doesn't happen. You are deliberately putting yourself in this state. This means you need it for something. So that they feel sorry for you, solve your problems, tell you how great you are or something else.

• First, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are an adult who can solve any problem. Self-pity is actually directed at others. Look how unhappy I am, take pity on me, approve of my actions.
• Secondly, stop expecting things from other people. You are in control of your life. You choose and make decisions. No one else can do this for you. Each person can simply interact with others, but nothing more. Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. This way you will definitely never solve the problem.
• Third, start doing something. Just sitting in one place and wailing every day will make you even more depressed. Get up and take action right now. Start with something small and not so heavy. Go to the mirror, smile at yourself and say: I will succeed, everything will be fine! And move on. Do not stop!

I hope you can overcome yourself and learn to be the boss in your own life. This is what helps you achieve success in any area of ​​life. When a person realizes that he does not depend on anyone, his whole life changes in an unimaginable and beautiful way. You should definitely try it! Check out my articles on the topic "

What is human life? Why do we come into this world and leave it? Why is the life of one person incomprehensibly short, while another is long and sometimes even painful? Why do some people live in luxury while others struggle to make ends meet? Why is there so much injustice in this world? Why is there illness and death? Why…

Written in the family?

In fact, all these questions are not new, they have been asked and will always be asked, because, unfortunately, there is nothing new in this world. Generations, people's capabilities, speeds and technical means change, but people as a whole do not become different.

On the Internet, at the monitors, people argue about large families and politics, liberals and patriots squabble among themselves, thousand-year-old monuments explode, and in panicked news from the oil markets, someone is sweeping away buckwheat in stores. Some people are sad because they didn’t buy the latest iPhone this month, while others are forced to listen to the sounds of artillery salvos, guessing from which side they came this time. These people can speak the same language and even live a hundred kilometers from each other. They just have different sorrows. And values ​​in life are somewhat different.

A man was born. For several years he has been in an atmosphere of absolute joy and care, he is fed, dressed, bathed, he is loved, loved not for anything, just like that. Almost everyone started this way. What happens to us when our lives become more independent? Why do two boys from the same building and from parents with approximately the same income have such different destinies? Is it really possible that something in this world, without their knowledge, is turning in such a way that great opportunities are opening up for one, while the other, even before his 30th birthday, is taken away in a funeral “groove” somewhere out of town? Did all this really happen because it was “written in the family”?

Or maybe ask the question differently? Maybe it's just us? And if life is a gift that is given only once, then how do we manage this gift ourselves? Here's the most important thing...

Trickier than Adam

We don’t just live; besides life itself, we have another amazing gift. We are absolutely free. We have the opportunity to make certain decisions, speak or remain silent, believe or not believe, forgive or not forgive, fight or give up. There are no conditions or circumstances, except, perhaps, death, that would deprive us of the opportunity to perform a volitional action, make a decision or commit an act.

In my pastoral work, in conversations with people who come and very often complain that life is breaking down, that nothing is working out, that everything is lost, and nothing can be returned, I remember the parable of one rich man who came to the elder for advice.

The man did not tell anything new: his life was broken, his wife left, his daughter was hopelessly ill, his son did not communicate with him, and his life’s work had fallen into disrepair due to economic difficulties. The elder advised him to calm down, put himself in order, live the way he lives, pray and not fall into despair. And hang an inscription on the door of his almost empty house: “All this will soon pass.” The man listened to the elder and did as he ordered. And after a while he returned to him with joy, thanked him and told him that everything in his life had miraculously changed for the better. The elder blessed him and said: “Live, thanking God, but do not remove the inscription from the door.”

God. Is He in our lives? Everyone will answer this question differently, and this diversity is also the result of the great gift of freedom that was once given to us. To be close to Him, to live according to His commandments, or not to be and not to live is everyone’s right and choice. People are all very different, but in the whole world and in the centuries of our earthly existence there was not a single person whom God did not love. I would not love as if he were the only one in the Universe.

And although there is nothing new under the sun, and from generation to generation we solemnly carry the same rake to ourselves and our grandchildren, not a single person in this world has repeated himself. Just as there was once only one Adam, so everyone who comes into this world lives, is born and dies in their amazing uniqueness.

We live with our wisdom, which says that “there is something out there in the Universe”, some “mind”, “higher power”, “absolute” and so on. We live, justifying ourselves that God must be in the soul, everything else is not important. But these philosophies are nothing more than a repetition of the mistake of Adam himself, who tried to hide from God in the shade of the trees. We hide from Him too, it’s just that we are already more cunning than Adam, since he hid from his shame and fear, and sometimes it is simply inconvenient for us to live, knowing God, knowing that many of our actions are denounced by our conscience, which testifies to us that we are wrong. And conscience is not just “something in the psyche”, it is something, very often invisible to us, a place in ourselves where God sometimes still lurks.

But we prefer to reassure ourselves that no one has seen God anywhere, and the rest is “from men.”

Moon in Capricorn, porridge in the head

But guessing on the inhabitants of the zoo and other creatures, according to some logic dedicated to a particular year, is something we like and has no doubt about. It’s easy to look for an answer from extinct stars, to gild the pen of a charlatan, or to start a dangerous game with the occult. It's easier than opening the Bible. This is easier than understanding why the Son of God came into this world in poverty and did it so unnoticed? Why didn’t He take it and appear as a formidable king and judge, why didn’t He restore order in one second, and in general - “why didn’t all the good people gather and kill all the evil ones?!”

But there is one very true and also almost imperceptible thought. Everything that is written in the most important Book for us, Christians, is all about how Heavenly Father, through the darkness of centuries and millennia, is looking for all of us, scattered in time and space. About the fact that a person left the joy and fullness of life into darkness and death, but his Creator went after him to find his creation, and not just find him, but also make him a son or daughter of Light. And so strong was His love for each of us that before time and everything that had happened and would still happen, His only begotten Son had to become one of us. And die.

God coming out to search for man - isn't this the love of a real Father? For some reason, it is easier for a “reasonable” person to believe in a faceless absolute than to accept the simple and important thought of the Father caring for His children.

But even after accepting, we continue to be perplexed. If we have an almighty Father, why not start all over again? Why can’t we, sinners and bad ones, be made ideal and pure and placed in a correct and beautiful world, where there will be no trace of memories of sin and death? Yes, because the person himself does not want it!

People ask: why doesn’t God stop lawlessness and tyranny, why does he tolerate injustice and evil? “I’ll believe it if everything changes and everything is wonderful...” But this leads to another question: why don’t you stop yourself when you’re angry, taking revenge, hating, insulting, humiliating and lying? Don't you have the freedom to do otherwise? So isn’t it more correct to look for the causes of evil and injustice not in heaven, but in one’s own structure?

Alarm Signals

What's in a person's heart? He didn’t receive it like a service apartment with furniture; he “arranged” everything himself, he made the arrangements himself. Don't we choose our own path? Is it not through our own ideas, thoughts and decisions that we become us? What then is fate? What else is there and where is it written?

But questions remain. Why are we feeling so bad? Why is it difficult to accept what comes into life as a bitter cup and ordeal? How can I make it easier?

If God followed us in search of us, then He has to walk along a difficult and confusing road, and correcting it in one second would probably be wrong in relation to ourselves. Because against my will. You cannot correct what has been passed, but you can correct the road ahead. True, if the person walking wants it.

Sometimes it seems to me that all the troubles in our everyday life are some kind of alarming signal that we are rapidly approaching something very bad, which could be even worse and more difficult. What is it like a red light, like an elevated temperature. Without it, it is impossible to know that the body is infected. A high temperature is a sign of the body's fight against infection. It's worse if it's not there. It’s unpleasant, yes, but if it’s there, it means you need to be treated.

So it is in our lives. A person complains that everything is bad for him. Maybe it's time to put things in order within yourself? Dirt does not tend to disappear on its own, but it loves to multiply and turn to stone.

We ask a lot of questions about life. To God. To other people. And very rarely - to ourselves. More often than not, in a dark room, the switch may be much closer than we think. Isn't it better to look for him closer to the exit?

Is God fair? Fortunately, no. God is merciful. Yes, most likely, the bombing of Palmyra or the fighting near Donetsk will not stop tomorrow. But, perhaps, if one of us restrains our emotions when someone cuts him off on the road or is rude in a store, if we can forgive, not take revenge and be more merciful, then there will be less evil in the world, and all sorts of the terrible war will come to an end.

Newspaper "Saratov Panorama" No. 03 (1084)

Before reading this text, I must warn you: deterioration in life does not occur overnight, they are the result of gradual and sometimes imperceptible processes for the brain deceived by illusions. It doesn't happen that way! and everything in life became dramatically worse. A person himself prepares the ground for this - he strengthens inadequate realities and unviable attitudes with faith, makes strategically erroneous decisions, ignores facts, etc. and so on.

To begin with, you should understand and accept as an axiom one simple thing, which is that There are no unsolvable problems, there are unpleasant solutions. It is difficult to accept it, because in the minds of many people, a woman’s attitude toward the perception of reality, “what is true is pleasant,” “I close my eyes and all the bad things will disappear,” dominates in the minds of many people. It is with its elimination and eradication that the process of getting out of the ass into which a person has driven himself begins.

Next step– this is a sober look at reality. You cannot correct a situation / solve a problem without recognizing the facts. This is usually made difficult by the fact that the individual is accustomed to lying to himself. Freud also proved that most of our words and thoughts serve to hide the truth. First of all, from ourselves. It’s difficult to figure out your own lies and false interpretation of facts on your own, so smart people turn to those who know how to separate reality from bullshit for help.

In fact, after this step, we can consider that half the path has already been completed. Because an honest and conscious look at reality automatically puts everything in its place and a large (if not most) part of the problems falls off by itself. This, by the way, is the basis of Allen Carr’s methods for overcoming drug addiction (“the easiest way to quit smoking” and others).

Third step is decision making. It seems like a simple action, but it stalls in the swamp of childish infantilism generated by a woman’s upbringing. The average representative of society does not have the desire and ability to live independently, that is, to live freely - he is accustomed to others deciding everything for him: first his parents, then the school and college, then the authorities with the government and money, which the moneyphile-bred man in the street perceives as “universal.” problem solver,” they say, I’ll take it where it needs to be, I’ll pay and there’s no need to strain myself.

And this is where the mistake comes in, because the active, that is, subjective life position ALWAYS involves the application of effort, and any effort requires a certain amount of tension. Otherwise, it turns out, as in that vulgar joke: “And what did you understand, Vovochka? - Don’t relax, otherwise you’ll #boot!” True, you also need to strain yourself mentally, and not like the horse Boxer from Animal Farm, who, in the situation of the onset of another ass, constantly said the same thing: “I will work even harder.” As you know, the horse ended badly - he was sent to a slaughterhouse and soap factory. Yes, you have to work not 18 hours, but with your head.

The degree of tension, by the way, directly depends on the steepness of the solution. You won’t have to work hard to fix or even slightly tint a leaky fence, but the result won’t be particularly beautiful and won’t be very durable. But for a small person with small goals, in general it is quite acceptable. To completely reconstruct a dilapidated house (if everything is really bad in life), all forces and resources must be concentrated into a fist. Well, of course, you need to know WHAT EXACTLY do. Because, as the classic bequeathed, “a specific analysis of a specific situation is the very essence, the living soul of Marxism.”

In fact, the development and assistance in implementing a detailed strategy for overcoming the crisis is the subject of coaching and consulting work. Since this requires operations that are very problematic to do alone - take an honest look at yourself and your life from the outside, clarify your true goals and desires (understand your real, not fictitious purpose/vocation) and discard false ones, subject to critical analysis and revision of beliefs and the attitudes that previously guided me in life and which ultimately led to my ass (after all, our fate is neither more nor less, but the deployment over time of our unconscious attitudes and “game packages”). Well, and various other important things.

“Deceive the Emperor and cross the sea”

Another dissatisfied reader will grumpily say: so, they say, everything is bad, there is no health, life is not going well, debts, loans, no home, no work, in general, I don’t want to live, and then I have to spend a lot of money on the help of a trainer-consultant. I would like some free, effective advice.

But, unfortunately, there is no such thing as free and effective advice. For everything in life you have to pay. And often not with money (a virtual and renewable resource), but with much more expensive resources - time, energy, health...

There is this thing that I called "the theory of last money" and which has numerous confirmations in world practice (for example, the biography of the former poor man Peter Daniels or Edison Miranda, a homeless man who became a famous boxer). Its essence is to put yourself in a hopeless situation when “it’s either hit or miss.”

The fact is that any person always has money, even if he thinks that he doesn’t have it (here, as a rule, we are dealing with a perverted form of lying to oneself). The question is priorities. If survival is a priority, then all the money is spent on it. And a person will do only one thing all his life - survive. If the priority is a leap forward and development, then all his actions will be subordinated to these goals. Therefore, when a person invests all his money in himself, then he has no other acceptable options except to win.

The problem, however, is that the vast majority of people by upbringing have an unconscious ban on winning (hence the life-survival "victim philosophy"). But this can also be treated. The main thing is to overcome your own fear. Fear of finally becoming yourself, strong and free!